You must be lost! You have somehow wound up in the Eternal Chasm of Lost Souls: His Archest of Archives. (Probably as a result of one or more sins committed during the coarse of your life.) As of December 14, 2002 (when He decided to start counting officially) there are currently 905 lost souls, forever damned, in attendance. You have undoubtedly noticed that it is utter Chaos here and so, in an effort to make things truly miserable for you, He has elected to give you not one, but two ways to search for your damned Lost Soul: Look up (it is The Pits® here after all) whereby you will see that you may do so individually by Letter or, because, as in life, the more you buy the cheaper they are, in sheer Volumes. Furthermore, to make this damned Soul Searching® business a pure living Hell upon you (you did check the ‘box’ marked Life after Death didn’t you?) you will not find your lost soul in any one location, but rather you will come to recognize a little piece of it here, a little shard of it there. Nor are there any maps or guidelines as to where these disjointed fragments of a life ‘lived’ might be found. It is your damned responsibility to seek them out and piece them together  as best you can (even though, just as in life, it is a process wherein you shall find precious little peace). When, in the course of time, you have scrabbled together what pitiful remnants as you can find, please queue up in the Express Check-out line (twelve irritations or less, no credit carps accepted) wherein you will come to understand, as no lexicon or dictionary could ever impart, the true meaning of Eternal Damnation.