The Tenant Commandments

 

 

1. Thou shalt have no other landlords before me

2. Thou shalt not break unto thee anything, lest

    my image be grave

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the landlord,

    thy God, in vain

4. Remember the rent day to keep it holy

5. Honor thy father and thy mother (thy

    security and cleaning deposits)

6. Thou shalt not kill time lest thou unwittingly

    (or perhaps not unwittingly) delay the coming

    of the Sabbath, which thou shalt remember is

    the rent day

7. Thou shalt not commit a party (let alone, God

    forbid, a poetry)

8. Thou shalt not steal in at all hours of the night

9. Thou shalt not bear falsetto witness unto thy

    premises— especially since I know thy    premises to be false

10. Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor’s wife

 

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The Moving Hand