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1. Thou shalt have no other landlords before me
2. Thou shalt not break unto thee anything, lest
my image be grave
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the landlord,
thy God, in vain
4. Remember the rent day to keep it holy
5. Honor thy father and thy mother (thy
security and cleaning deposits)
6. Thou shalt not kill time lest thou unwittingly
(or perhaps not unwittingly) delay the coming
of the Sabbath, which thou shalt remember is
the rent day
7. Thou shalt not commit a party (let alone, God
forbid, a poetry)
8. Thou shalt not steal in at all hours of the night
9. Thou shalt not bear falsetto witness unto thy
premises— especially since I know thy premises to be false
10. Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor’s wife
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