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Okarma bin Laden
Osama bin Laden,
O misslamic whiner,
Defiler of Islam,
Misgodded diviner;
Low summoner of jihad,
O fakir adorer,
Most holier-than-thou
Thoushaltnot ignorer.
Osumof sin-laden
We scorn your epistle,
It befalls on our ears like
A misgodded missal:
Pouring forth in a stream,
Coming down in an arc,
And there—oh just there’s
Where it misses the mark:
Were your ’pistle the true
Word of God, Laden, hark:
It would surely have come
Down to us, in an ark
—Yea, an ark, oh, an ark
Of the covenant, kind,
Lo, relief in an ark,
The most coveted kind,
On we infidels, kafirs,
We curst unbelievers,
We Allah-less, halvah-less
God-blessed achievers.
Opissin bin moanin,
Benighted infernal,
You rain down your blather,
By night and diurnal;
So full of bereeking
Self-serving;nsumed belief
That you seek to pass off
(To beget vile relief)
The whole of the Kóran
—In one corrupt piece!
Osuffer unladen,
May your writhing increase,
For to pass it off so
(Such an ungodly moan)
Is to pass out, God knows,
The most unholy stone.
Thus, despite your best shot
To befoul its release
—Out the whole of it comes
Not one goodly ‘peace.’
No peace upon earth
—Osuffer piss-laden!
May your bladder increase with
The whole Gulf of Aden.
Thus amiss rains down your rank
Hateful pollution
Going wide of all good,
Wider yet of solution:
Holed up in your in-
continental cavernal,
It misses the whole of
The westerneered yearn-all.
Yet, sum of miss-laden,
May your whole tribe decease,
How might you have touched us
Had you rained down with peace.
Ocomedy-laden,
Mispistling apostle,
Your aim’s so off-course
That your missal’s colossal:
You seek to rain down with
Your vile rain of terror,
And there—oh, just there’s
Where your aim comes to error:
Your trot out your dogma
Its question to beg,
But just as your dogma
Is lifting its leg
Your very own karma,
Oterror-pissed drover,
The whole of your dogma’s
Vile blather runs over
—Otrauma!—enflatten!
Its aim never true,
Now your dogma’s epistle
Goes God-aimed askew!
Osonof all miss-fits
—You miss the whole plot!
The missiah you are;
The Messiah you’re not.
Oh, pariah you are,
Lo, pariah besought,
But Josiah, Hezekiah,
Jedediah, Jeremiah,
Obadiah, Zachariah
—The Messiah you’re not.
Osinner unEden,
May your loathed name increase,
A hundredfold each time
Runs foul of true peace
Your sick-twisted, ill-striking,
Misgodded aim,
—Nay, a thousand times more
Run afoul your foul name!
Fie! You’ve twisted the Kóran
Upon your curst head
As if a mock turban
—All fiery and dread:
Around and around goes
That good holy cloth
As if better your head
To self-righteously swath:
Such trick of contortion,
Distortion and spin
Each good word of Allah’s
Betwisted therein
So tightly—unrightly,
Insinuously,
Each cannot come out
But insidiously
—And comes out each one
In misslamic aspersion,
Yea, out the foul mouth of
Opsalma perversion.
Osama in Flatus,
Some wind you did sow,
Now round and about you
The whirlwind does blow:
And the wind of the whirled
(Even you cannot miss)
Sirocco cum blowhard,
Does blow only this:
Who pisses and moans so,
Who lives life infernal,
Shall in such benightedness,
Never diurnal.
Nay, the day will not dawn
Should Life live eternal
When who pisses—and misses!—
Shall ever die urinal.
Osumof ensadden,
In couplets I sing
For all you uncoupled
Of Life’s coupleing;
In memory’s sweet time-measured
Rhyme do I sing
For they you uncoupled
Of Life’s measured ring;
For meeters-in-love who
Shall never more meet
I sing of rent love-lives
Once living and sweet;
But of cold Death’s departing,
Death’s full-measured sting,
Okarma cum Deadman
To you lone I sing.
Woe!someone bin God-damned
—Hear! my prosody,
For I sing you in singular
Clear rap-Saudi:
Osumof sin, Madman,
Unmusliming moslem,
Osonof self-Righteous
Misgodded begodding;
OAllah-betwisting-
All-Islam-perversing-
In-the-name- of-God-sinning-
All-infidel-cursing;
Osumof all Sodom,
Oslumof Gomorrha,
Oscumof him Saddam
Who spits on the Torah;
Ocharla tin lama,
Osumof blood frozen,
Impostrous Gautama,
Self-godded, self-chosen;
Osherif of flim-flam,
Ocaliph of bombast,
Osultan of humbug,
Grand pooh-bah of bomb-blast;
Ospewer of dogma,
Quacksalver of hatred,
Farce fakir of fatwa,
False prophet al-putrid;
Osinger in false tongues,
Faux son of Saládin,
Osquatter in foul dungs,
Oshitter on Amen;
Personna non grata
Put this on your head:
Ogoddamned unwanted
—Unliving or dead!
Oscumof the sand-dunes,
Most shunned of all Saudis,
Blasphemer of doctrines,
Corruptor of holies;
Olustreless luster
Most fork-tongued beguiler,
OKóran-corruptor,
OAllah-defiler;
Osordid spin master,
Oscummy Aladdin,
Foe-mentor of jihad,
Faux son of engladden;
OAllah invoking,
All-Islam proclaiming,
Mohammed all-praising,
And so, all defaming;
OJesus-Christ-Jew-boy-
O-Bethlehem-bashing-
All-infidel-kafirs-
All-sin-agog-lashing;
Osonof him Satan,
Omuchshunned Islamic,
Osumof all madness,
O hate-wretching vomic;
Omaniac seething,
May a thousand sharp scimitars
Excise your pee-thing;
Unsoftest of sophists,
Omisspot—get off it!
Osowerof weep fields,
Oh, reap now your profit:
Osumof pain fallen,
The storm has moved on
—Yet see! how now gather
Over Afghanistan
Clouds darker, more frightful,
More menacing yet,
As if filled with the blood of
The dead, cold and wet
—Oh, look up! sin-laden,
Oh, look up—with dread:
O look!—there’s a fatwan
Smack over your head
And—Allah be praised!—
It’s just filled with epistle
—O hear! how it falls
With sweet ávenging whistle.…
Osomewhere in hiding,
Your fate is beset:
A dark world you live in
—And a hiding you’ll get!
Otunneling vermin,
Ocave-dwelling kraken,
Osewer rat gnawing
On things Godforsaken,
There—low! in its veriest
Bowels you abide;
Dwell low, you and yours,
Upon vain sewer-side
—But it’s right, O! it’s right in
Such slums you should dwell
That you damned might be just that
Much closer to Hell
Wherein ábomination,
The whole does abound
(And yet never a balm
Condescends to such ground).
Yet fear not, sin-laden,
Our bombs are damned smart!:
They know—and shall go—
Right up your damned part!
Oscumoff the hot sand,
Disgracer of Yemen,
Despoiler of freedom,
Debaser of women;
Osháhid conscripter,
Omystic spellbinder
Of sewer-side bombers
Who couldn’t be blinder,
Who cut short their lives,
Each blind life-departer,
For failing to see that you
Spell murder ‘martyr.’
Osmugness in godding,
Piss-jihad provoker,
Don’t you know that ofttimes
Fool, the joke’s on the joker?
Omonger in terror,
Here’s terror to praise:
Jihad, like a knife,
Oft cuts terror both ways;
Osauna in Afghan,
O skin soaking wet!
Otellus bin Madman:
Why so do you sweat?
Opiss-ant of terror
Oh, this your degree:
Pissumma cum laude
In terror (which see)
There! you see your error?
O error, hear me:
It begins with a piss-ant
—Un-puissant!—small ‘t’
Starts small—oh, hear me!
Ospellbound in terror,
And ends, where it always does:
Badly, in error.…
Osama, my peeon
To you grows so long,
That I ask, nay, insist
That you join me in song.
Osinger in false tongues,
How shall its refrain
Be up-raised by that
Falsetto tongue which you train
In such a dogmatic
And false-setting manner
You’ve perverted it into
A most deadly banner
Which you wrap, with malice,
Around the Koran,
And strangle the truth
—The life—from each one
Of the words of Allah,
Which all peace do bless
(Like the scarf round the neck
Of that poor authoress).
And too, O, because you’re so
Cravenly base,
I insist (with all of
Your low-bottomed race)
That you take this part
(Since you sing it so well)
And sing it as if you
Were going straight to Hell,
—And singing for Satan
(No cattle-call’s tougher!)
Sin-laden, you will now
Sing loud for your suffer:
Osama—come see!
By your own surly light
What so proudly we hail:
Our rap-Saudi flag streaming
Whose broadsídes and satíre
And contumely bright,
Are with sarcasm screaming.
And each lambasting prayer
Bursting Afghani air,
Lends proof to your fright:
Our outráge is still there.
O say does that karma-lade
Bomber yet release
Our epistle which shall blow
You and yours all to peace.
Osonof him Satan,
Though born in negation
My song, having been sung,
Would close in psalmation,
And here now in swelling
Crescendo would end,
Yet Freedom begs leave
One last word to append
—And how will your cold ears
Be soon doubly ringing
For, too, I cannot keep
Justice from singing;
And I swear no more sweet
And melodic duet
Have once put their voices
So in-concert yet;
Too, I swear as never
I’ve sworn epithet
—As I dare say you will as
One last time you wet
Your filthy and reeking and
Piss-stained burnoose
(It’s well that it fits you,
Like your morals, loose)
The better that it might absorb,
With a groaning,
The whole of your mislammic
Pissing and moaning.
Osumpof all dis-ease,
Osinkof contagion,
Osloughof despond,
Swamp of all defecation;
Ogermof all dis-ease,
Osporeof death-spreading-
Blood-poisoning-pox-
Of-infection, life-shedding
—Oh, listen!—Oh, harken!
To Freedom and Justice,
You soon to be far less
Than dust into dust is
—O hear! as they com—and
You fast decom—pose,
As they bring now my O-psalming
Song to a close:
Oshaman in Hades,
Ofiendof Abaddon-
Abandon-all-hope-you-
Who-enter-here-Laden;
Oserpent in Hades,
Otongueof an adder,
Ohungup-on-hating,
Ovenom-us bladder;
Oshameof him God-One,
Oincubus gotten,
Osurely been Hell-spawned,
Ofroma womb rotten;
Osignof one stillborn,
OSatan’s tongue flashing,
Owonted unwanted
In want of tongue-lashing;
Omuslim muck-raker,
Ofeces disturber,
Destroyer-of-everything-
Peace-is perturber;
Oshamtalk of Heaven,
Ofraudof him Allah,
May the plague of plagues fall
On your rotten cabala.
Oswampof all loathing,
Osumpof dementia,
Osumof all cesspools
And vile excrementia;
Osheikin wolf’s clothing,
Osumof bad-tasting-
And-ever-for-loathing-
In-need-of-lamb-basting;
Odogbane of dogma,
Low priest of flim-flamming,
Oholy-war-wage-in-
The-name-of-God damning;
Osinkof corruption,
Osewer abyssal,
Oh, ope wide your vain
And receive our epistle:
It falls down, oh, down—now
To your corrupt level
And shall, when it gets there
Your base world dishevel;
O with Justice, with Vengeance
(In America maden)
—O with all these—and quickly—
O karma, come laden!
Oloveof just desert,
Your karma comes calling,
Oh, hear how its cadence
Comes falling, oh, falling
—O down with each ‘Ahh!’
All Vengeance enthralling,
O down unto you now,
Your just deserts falling.
And oh, what a fine, fine,
Fine twist of fate
It is that befalls your
Be-loathed-twisted pate,
Oh, OH! what a fine twist
Befalls the patois
Which yet so betwists
The word of All-ah.
Osama, thy karma
Now answers its calling
—O hear! as each ‘Ahh!’
All your ear is befalling:
—O listen! as each,
Plaintive, to you is calling,
From plane of All-Highest-
High-Dudgeon comes falling…
O (comma)…
Osama…
Fallsonya…
Some drama…
Oshama…
Uponya…
Fallsonya…
Some trauma…
Opoohbah…
Oshahnah…
Fallsonya…
Some fatwa…
—Oka-ka!…
—Owah-wah!…
—Hosanna!…
—Nirvana!…
Oh, blah-blah…
Osama…
Fallsonya…
Some bomba…
—Ka-blama!…
Yo mama!…
No casbah…
—No sama!…
O drama!…
O dharma!…
Fallsonya…
Some karma…
O ta-ta…
Osama…
Pissonya…
Tra-la-la.
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