Gretchen

 

 

If you’re ever in Topia

   One fine day,

And you’re a guy with an eye,

   As they say,

And you see a gal who looks like

   Perfection,

You’ll have just made the sweet

Acquaintance

   Of Gretchen.

 

Yes, Gretchen’s adorable,

   Gretchen is vim,

Gretchen’s a beaut,

   And adorably thin.

If you’d go so far as to say,

   —She’s fetchin’!

Hoo, boy! you’d be right on the money…

   That’s Gretchen.

 

Oh, Gretchen’s perfection,

   Gretchen is thin

   —Cute as a pin!

Is Gretchen.

 

I once saw Gretchen

   When she was with child,

But I did not suppose

   That she had been wild.

I wasn’t surprised;

I merely surmised

That she was expectin’,

And just bein’ Gretchen.

(Sigh) she was expectin’

   And still she was thin

   —Cute as a pin!

Is Gretchen.

 

Yes, Gretchen is just as sharp

   As a pin,

And as shiny and bright,

   And as slender and slim,

And her head is so perfectly,

   Perfectly trim

That you find yourself pinin’

   For answerin’:

How does she squeeze all that

   Femin in?

It’s enough, Lord, to make you believe

   It’s a sin.

 

Perfection may grin,

But Gretchen is thin

—Cute as a pin!

   Is Gretchen.

 

Now there’s some who think

   It’s manly pride

And some believe

   I just plain lied,

But Gretchen smiled on me once…

   And I sighed……

’Cause that smile was a

Heartmelt

   And three feet wide.

 

Nonsense! folks say

   With a mulish grin,

It’s just your foolish

   Imaginin’.

Why, God Himself,

   His Heaven in

 Might hope—in vain—

   To discipline

His hand for Eternity

   But to win

A smile that wide

On the head

   Of a pin!

 

(Oh, sweet God above,

   Forgive their sin

And all their faithlessness

   Deep within

Who know not—who know

   Not chagrin:

That You can paint a smile

On the head

   Of a pin!)

 

Yes, friend, it’s there

   For all to see,

And it’s sweet and it’s fair

   —And it’s waiting to free

The love in your heart

   As it once did for me

(So long ago!)

   In that far countree.

 

Then go, my friend,

   You won’t need direction;

You’ll know in your heart

   When you’ve found Gretchen:

Your head, your heart, your love

   She will win

When you see Beauty’s face

On the head

   Of a pin;

 

So awakening,

   As from a love-slumber,

Your heart of hearts

   —So disencumber

Your soul of its care

   (That shade of umber)

You’ll be want to believe

   She’s your personal number

You hold dear within.

 

Perfection may grin,

But Gretchen is thin

—Cute as a PIN!

   Is Gretchen.

 

Yes, Gretchen is just as sharp

   As a pin,

And as shiny and bright,

   And as slender and slim,

And her head is so perfectly

   Perfectly trim

That you find yourself pinin’

   For answerin’:

How does she squeeze all that

   Femin in?

It’s enough, Lord, to make you believe

   It’s a sin.

 

Perfection may grin,

But Gretchen is thin

—Cute as a pin!

   Is Gretchen.